Lately, I've been trying to really clean out all of our stuff with the goal of only having things that we are using since it seems really materialistic to have a houseful of stuff that we don't need. I was really proud of myself because I thought I had finally sent the last of my clothes that I still had from high school along their merry way when I realized that I still have some things from that era. And older. Alongside my cute vinyl jacket from the Wet Seal purchased my sophomore year and my Letterman's jacket which I earned my junior year, was my Adidas jacket.
Many memories were made while I was wearing that jacket: taking literature quizzes, beach nights with friends, and trying to stay warm while helping run Bible programs with churches in Mexico...when I was in junior high. Yes, I still have an article of clothing from when I was in junior high. This little realization has plunged me into deep reflection as to why I seem to hang onto things for far too long of a time. This isn't a case of being thrifty, I think, since I haven't worn it in a long time since the jacket is really big on me now. I'm sure it was huge on me then since I think grew about four inches in subsequent years. Thankfully, the several sizes too big baggy jacket style has passed on to the "why were we thinking that ever looked flattering?" category along with the side pony tails and puffy paint of elementary school. In fact, I think Brian could wear this jacket even though the tag says medium.
So why is it still in my closet if I haven't worn it in eons? That is the question...
I think I tend to keep things under the guise of being thrifty since I find myself thinking "but that's still in good condition and I might need it someday" yet it still sits there unused. I always want to be a good steward and stretch our resources to do as much as possible but an unused jacket isn't doing anything.
Maybe it is a trust thing with God. Even though he promised to take care of us and told us not to worry in Matthew 6:25-27, I must confess that my mind dwells on it way more than I should and I keep things so I can "be prepared" and while preparedness isn't a bad thing at all, I am right now failing to see how an old jacket is somehow making me more prepared.
Maybe I am finding too much comfort in having things around me, having my identity in stuff and holding onto memories in the form of things. That only makes me guilty of not storing up my treasure in heaven like is says to in Matthew 6:19-21. It costs me my focus on Christ if I am daily placing my heart in my things around me.
I'm really not sure about why I haven't been able to get rid of it yet when I'm no longer using it. It could be that it is a combination of all three issues that I need to work out with God. Today, my goal is to get my closet cleaned out and continue to grow in awareness of who I am and what I need to work on to live fully. And, I have to admit that I'm really curious as to what other people might have in their closets since I have something from back in the day (read: am I the only crazy one?) But now, I'm not sure that I'm going to get rid of the jacket because I'm now contemplating dressing up as my junior high self for Halloween.
I remember those jackets~ all the cool kids had them and we were too poor to afford anything near it. I saved and saved for months to buy adias superstar shoes (which were also in at the time), my friends had multiple pairs and I was teased every day at school for only having one pair and no adias jacket.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion of that jacket was that it was the mark of having money and being accepted.
I know it doesn't relate exactly to your post, but I thought you may enjoy seeing a different perspective on your jacket.
You are totally right, Jenn, it was such a status symbol in a lot of ways. I remember the shoes too- I never had those but felt really lucky to have my jacket. My parents were super sweet to have given it to me as a Christmas present. I think it is really ridiculous though how we let things define us and our status- I know we'd all like to think we left it all in junior high but...it's hard especially when we feel (and are) judged by those standards! Makes me wonder about how I'm going to deal with this when my son starts school next month too. Trying right now to focus on character; makes me want to keep the jacket as a reminder of what's really important. Thanks so much for your thoughts!
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