The realization that I am the only female living in this house hit me today (other than the hamster, of course); I am most definitely outnumbered at three to one. While the ratio has thus stood for the past two years, eight months, nineteen days, and seven and a half hours as I write, it has taken a while to sink in. Sink in it did today.
I think my boys are human tornadoes; toys and clothes and dishes and sporting equipment can be found all over my house particularly after what has turned out to be another long week since Brian has had more project deadlines and long hours. In my attempt to regain something of a semblance of order, I declared today Project Deep Clean. Sadly, it did not go so well.
In church these past few weeks, we have had a wonderful guest speaker, Tim Downs, who has been discussing relationships and specifically how males and females were created differently with the point of learning to live in marriage as Paul exhorts us to in Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3:7. One of the points Tim Downs made was that women's awareness is like a full satellite dish that never shuts off in comparison to men's being like a cordless phone antenna that has a limited range. Today I discovered that this is true even for 5 and 2 year-olds. Their very strong ability to focus on one thing at a time, or antennae, unfortunately kept picking up the signal of the video games in the bonus room. Hence little cleaning was accomplished by them leaving me to notice acutely how many boy-oriented toys we seem to be in possession of. As my mom put it so succinctly, there is very little pink in my house- just some of my clothes and the sweet n' low packets.
An incident today also demanded that I scrub the boys' bathroom and this, I believe, is the main reason I am feeling out-numbered. Scrubbing the toilet of potty training boys is an interesting task and yet another blaring reminder that boys are different from girls. And while I adore all of the wonderful males I live with, I decided to light a candle and revel in the smells of girly-ness replacing some other smells.
I think the issue of being outnumbered for me has been so pressing lately because it is an issue of contentment and trusting God that He indeed knows and gives me what I need since my desire for a daughter has of yet been unfulfilled. Truthfully, I've realized that this, like any other "want" or disappointment has the propensity to become either a barrier or something that draws me closer to God. We can only react for or against something, although there are differing degrees of reactions, and it is my challenge is to continually choose to give it to God and trust Him that He, in His infinite wisdom, knows best. And I think I'm going to ask Him to share some of that wisdom with me in regards to how to keep the boys from climbing the furniture. Maybe it is time another hazelnut mocha frappe!