Last night, I indulged. I admit it. And all today, I was wondering what in the world I was thinking. I decided, at 7 pm last night that I really wanted Diet Dr Pepper and gave in to screaming impulse. As I tossed and turned well into the wee hours of the morning and was counting all the hours passing by (if you must know how late it was, the hour rhymed with "bee") I, understandably, began to question the wisdom of my decision. Because of my fibromyalgia, I'm really not supposed to have caffeine since it makes me hurt so much more so I have next to none now.
Gone are the college days when I was requesting double shots just so I could stay up later and finish that absurdly long paper just to receive my degree, which is, in fact, a paper... But enough on the little ironies of life.
I miss the chemical assistance to keep me going when I am fading and it is no where near the kids' bedtimes yet; so much harder in summer with it staying lighter longer since they don't believe me that it could possibly be bedtime yet, but I digress again. I think tangents are the after-affects of caffeine.
Such exhaustion led me to my old friend caffeine last night. And so today, I am excruciatingly tired compounded by the fact that I am trying to get our family ready to fly across the country for my sister's wedding. I have already begged Ethan to not let me forget my bridesmaid's dress, so deep is my concern for the fog that I am currently in.
And the caffeine is calling my name again, pretending to be my friend but I know that it lies! I've already taken a mountain (mole hill, actually) of Tylenol and ibuprofen so I don't move like an arthritic great-grandparent and can continue packing and hopefully not forgetting anything crucial.
So, the first step is admitting that you have a problem, right?
Okay, here goes: Caffeine is officially my frenemy (friend/enemy, in case you haven't heard of the term). I am choosing to be stronger than the caffeine today. I will get packed and when I am at the wedding in a little over a week, hopefully wearing the proper bridesmaid dress and not some hastily purchased substitute, it will be all worth it!