On Contentment



Thursday was Ethan's first day of first grade.  It seems like yesterday that I was blogging about him starting school and now he is a confident little first grader.  I think this has made such a profound impact on me since we are still going through the newborn phase with Jackson and it is hard to believe that he is already six weeks old; it has gone way too fast.  At the same time, I find myself wishing that we could get to sleep through the night!

It is ironic how we tend to wish for the next big thing; I spent the last month of pregnancy just wishing that our baby would make his debut and the past few weeks wishing I could sleep.  Before I know it, he'll be off to school like Ethan.  It really makes it difficult to really enjoy the phase we are in since it is easier to focus on the struggles of today; it is the immediacy of the urgent needs that keeps us from seeing the bigger picture. 

This has been a huge lesson that God has been working with me on lately: contentment.  Though not always in regards to material things, I think it is something that we all struggle with.  It is easy to long for the goals we have and forget about today and live the grace that He has given us.  Long term goals are incredibly important but can replace God as an object of our worship if obtaining them takes over our focus.  How many missed opportunities will we have if we only see our five year plans?  Or what teachable moments will we miss with our kids if we are just trying to get everything done in order to make it to the weekend?

I know it is a tall order to be content in a sleep-deprived and busy state, but it is what He asks of us so we can see Him.  This is my goal for the school year.  Why don't you join me in it?

When it Rains...

I had a near-breakdown last week when the ceiling fan light in my bedroom wouldn't turn on. Turns out the fan wasn't actually broken, just switched off with the pull chain so the wall switch didn't work.

In my defense though, this fan episode was a whole ten minutes after I shaved Luke's head immediately after discovering he had lice for the second time this summer. It was 30 minutes after trying to bake cookies with my sister and discovering my oven was broken, and a couple hours after discussing with Brian about having to replace our ailing air conditioner and hoping we could make it through the summer. Just that morning, I was talking with some family members about how we really need to replace the rotting siding on our house as soon as we can figure out where that 15 grand is coming from.

Brian came into our room and silently pulled the chain on the fan light and it came on all while giving me a look that clearly meant that I needed to get more sleep.  I was okay again.

Sleep Deprivation

It is safe to say that since our newest family member's arrival, we have all been a little sleep deprived; me for all the usual and obvious reasons and Brian for the same. What I did not expect though, was how tired our other boys would be...

Yes, someone did not even make it up the stairs to his room in order to take his nap.  My favorite part of this though was how Luke's little feet were still braced to keep him from slipping down.  Oddly enough, we moved Luke into Ethan's room so they would, in theory, sleep more since neither of them would be sleeping in the same room as a newborn who cries every three hours on cue to be fed.  We discovered how much Luke likes to talk to his older brother, particularly at night.  I'm not sure now which room is quieter: the nursery or Luke's room, but I think Ethan would probably say the nursery.

I've done a bunch of stupid stuff while walking around as a zombie these past several weeks.  The most notable of which is when I almost made Jackson a bottle with the can of Slimfast powder instead of his formula.  Luckily, I realized I had grabbed the wrong can before I made it (something to do with the chocolate brown powder instead of the white) and avoided putting my newborn on a diet.  I did decide, though, that I probably need to not keep those two cans in the same place in the pantry.

The silver lining of all the sleep deprivation running rampant in our house though are all the adorable photo opportunities that keep appearing.  One of my favorites:

Hello, Baby!



I've emerged from the sleep deprivation fog just long enough to organize my thoughts enough to be able to write a coherent post (or at least marginally coherent- you be the judge)!

Our precious baby boy, Jackson, was born five weeks ago today!  He looks like both me and my husband which is incredibly exciting to me since our first, Ethan, is a copy of my husband while Luke, albeit blond, is much more like me especially in regards to personality.  Jackson, however, is my little 50-50 bar and looks like both of his brothers and so maybe people won't be so confused when they see pictures of the boys together.  Apparently though, this seems to run in the family since my sister and I look nothing alike: I am pale and brunette while she is tan and blond.  While this bothered us while we were younger, we have come to find peoples' confused looks really entertaining.  We'll see what the future holds in regards to similarities and differences for my three boys...

Ethan and Luke have done a wonderful job as big brothers and my biggest problem is to keep them from smothering him with hugs and kisses and to protect him from all the lightsabers they keep trying to "show" him.  Luke, very humorously, was very upset when I didn't let him change the baby's diaper.  Is it too much to hope for that he still wants to do this in a couple months when the baby is big enough for me to be comfortable with it?

Most of all, I am incredibly thankful that our little Jackson is healthy and very happy after such a difficult pregnancy.  He managed to wait to make his debut at 38 weeks which meant he was officially full-term and not premature.  And though he was early, he was still 7 pounds and 6 ounces and 21 inches long so after a 21 hour labor, I was really thankful he didn't wait until he was any bigger! A few hours after he was born, he started smiling and is an incredibly happy baby hence my nickname for him, Happy.  And unfortunately, "Happy" is now crying so I probably need to go rescue him from his hunger pangs or whatever crisis is now imminent in his baby world!

Nesting

Today is a small milestone for me and our family: I am now 35 weeks pregnant and officially feeling like a beached whale.  I have been incredibly blessed to have been off bed rest for a while now but have been neglecting writing since it seems like there have been so many more urgent things to do with a new baby on the way.  And while many people have referred to this as "nesting" I just say that all my cleaning is inspired by fear of what our new reality will soon be:  three boys.  And, with three little men combined with sleep deprivation, not much is going to be happening as soon as number three decided to make his debut.  Even more so, I remember how much piled up while I was on bed rest and do not wish to repeat the experience.  That and during that spell, Luke decided that he does not like to wear clothing all that much and was reveling in the fact that there was not that much that I could do about it when confined to a stationary position.  I am expecting some similar sort of experimentation on his part in the coming weeks when I am busy with a newborn.  Ethan, on the other hand, has plans already to take care of his new brother and has been helping me around the house with a maturity that I would expect of a ten year old.  He even told me when we were doing laundry and I was staring pathetically at the pile of socks on the floor wishing could will them up into my hands, "Mommy, I don't want you bending.  I'll pick it up for you!"  Such is my five year old! 
Even more problematic for me at the moment is my inability to keep a consistent train of thought going...  I actually don't know what I started out planning on writing about when I began this post.  The ironic thing is that pretty soon, I'll be happy to just get to sleep a couple hours in a row and I'll think that my current state is very high functioning.  But now, I think I need to go finish getting the nursery ready since I haven't put his name up on the wall or organized the closet because a newborn really cares about those sort of things ;-) !

A New Adventure

I have discovered something very interesting about myself:  it seems that I have a very difficult time writing while I am pregnant.  Yes, we are in fact having another baby!

I have obviously taken a very long and unexpected hiatus from the frequent blogging that I previously enjoyed thanks to the joys of morning sickness so horrible that it ultimately culminated in a brief hospital stay.  Now, thanks to medication for the never ending feeling similar to an around-the-world sailing trip and prescribed bed rest (more on that later...), I return to the computer screen. 

Our little one, our third boy, is due July 25th this summer and we are so excited to meet this precious new member of our family.  We are also prepared for mass chaos given our soon to be even greater estrogen-to-testosterone ratio inequality.  Or, more accurately, our chaos will just continue and increase.  (I have decided, as the only female in the household, I am entitled to buy all the air freshener and candles that I want in my quest to balance things out.)  Ethan and Luke are absolutely ecstatic to have another brother too and I can't wait to see all of my three boys together!

Unfortunately, when I hit 25 weeks, I started having some contractions so my doctor put me on bed rest hence my extra time to write since I am now banned from doing housework.  Fortunately, our new little man is doing well and kicking up a storm but I am relegated to my bed and the couch.  And while this might sound like any mother's dream, I have to admit that I am officially going crazy on what is now day 6 of the bed rest saga since the weather has been beautiful and I just want to take a walk.  I have also had an inexplicable desire to do laundry.  Go figure. I think this must be one of the great mysteries of life: why household chores are so appealing when I am unable to do them.  Whatever the answer to this utterly non-profound question is, I am sure that the rest of this journey is sure to be an adventure!