I really have to apologize since it may well appear that I have dropped off the face of the planet since it has been several weeks since I last posted. Despite my intentions of posting at least once I week, I have failed. Shortly after I wrote the last post, my computer decided to stage a grand rebellion by way of turning off unexpectedly when my husband was trying to sync iTunes with my iPod for me. For his kind gesture, he was rewarded with a very long ordeal of trying to get the thing to turn on again. It did not want to. After several diagnostic attempts (which are very tricky when the computer won't even turn on, might I add), we lost all hope for its recovery when we realized the motherboard was fried. Rest in Peace, cute blue Dell laptop!
However, this has left me computerless and a bit posting-challenged. My post tonight comes courtesy of a borrowed computer (thanks, Brian!). In the meantime, I have realized that I am far too dependent on my computer.
After a several day long freak out about not being able to write, I realized that my writing is not dependent on technology. After all, people have been writing for centuries on... gasp... paper with pens! And apparently, I am looking for things to be really easy instead of, oh the horrors, having to actually erase rather than just backspace. This has confirmed that I can be a path of least resistance kind of person and I am going to attempt to use my time in computer free limbo as efficiently as possible using somewhat antiquated techniques and equipment like sharpening pencils and spiral bound notebooks.
Ironically, if you had asked me which one thing I could not live without, I would, without a doubt have answered my computer. Funny enough, I am doing okay although I will admit that I just posted on Facebook for people to call me rather than email me. The second thing that I would have said that I couldn't do without is my phone and at two years old, it is now acting really weird and telling me I have all sorts of messages when I don't. It also doesn't always ring... So facebook friends trying to call me: I'm sorry and I'm really not ignoring you! Sending me letters might be the best option! And the third thing I would say that I can't do without, my digital camera which as of last week, the display spontaneously turns magenta and vibrates like a pager when trying to focus. I was just praying that it would make it through Baby Jack Jack's first birthday cake smash. One demolished cupcake later, I breathed a sigh of relief.
I think God is trying to tell me something. All the things that I thought I couldn't live without are dropping like flies and you know what, while I am a bit frustrated, I am okay. I feel so fortunate to have been blessed to have as much as we do and amused at how much we think we must have things to get by. Just a little bit ago, I was talking about the differences between wants and needs to our boys and this has given them and me a big object lesson. Truly, these things aren't even things I need to survive! It has reminded me that my reactions to life's little curve balls are hugely important not just for my own spiritual well being, but for the boys as well since they are learning so much about life just from watching me. How's that for humbling perspective!
God tells us not to worry about provision in Matthew 6:26 when he says, "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (ESV). God knows what we need and will take care of us and when I worry about things, I'm not trusting Him. I should be dependent on Him for my needs instead of clinging desperately to things that keep breaking. It's not wrong to like and appreciate the things He has given us, but we need to remember that they came from Him.
So in the meantime, I am hoping that God determines that I have learned my lesson and the number 4 item on my list doesn't go too. That and I need to go budget for a new camera since I really don't want to miss another photo opportunity of my boys doing something hysterical since with three little guys, we laugh a ton around here. And while old, this and this will hopefully make you smile...
And I hope to not disappear for so long again in my "technical difficulties"!