On Contentment



Thursday was Ethan's first day of first grade.  It seems like yesterday that I was blogging about him starting school and now he is a confident little first grader.  I think this has made such a profound impact on me since we are still going through the newborn phase with Jackson and it is hard to believe that he is already six weeks old; it has gone way too fast.  At the same time, I find myself wishing that we could get to sleep through the night!

It is ironic how we tend to wish for the next big thing; I spent the last month of pregnancy just wishing that our baby would make his debut and the past few weeks wishing I could sleep.  Before I know it, he'll be off to school like Ethan.  It really makes it difficult to really enjoy the phase we are in since it is easier to focus on the struggles of today; it is the immediacy of the urgent needs that keeps us from seeing the bigger picture. 

This has been a huge lesson that God has been working with me on lately: contentment.  Though not always in regards to material things, I think it is something that we all struggle with.  It is easy to long for the goals we have and forget about today and live the grace that He has given us.  Long term goals are incredibly important but can replace God as an object of our worship if obtaining them takes over our focus.  How many missed opportunities will we have if we only see our five year plans?  Or what teachable moments will we miss with our kids if we are just trying to get everything done in order to make it to the weekend?

I know it is a tall order to be content in a sleep-deprived and busy state, but it is what He asks of us so we can see Him.  This is my goal for the school year.  Why don't you join me in it?

When it Rains...

I had a near-breakdown last week when the ceiling fan light in my bedroom wouldn't turn on. Turns out the fan wasn't actually broken, just switched off with the pull chain so the wall switch didn't work.

In my defense though, this fan episode was a whole ten minutes after I shaved Luke's head immediately after discovering he had lice for the second time this summer. It was 30 minutes after trying to bake cookies with my sister and discovering my oven was broken, and a couple hours after discussing with Brian about having to replace our ailing air conditioner and hoping we could make it through the summer. Just that morning, I was talking with some family members about how we really need to replace the rotting siding on our house as soon as we can figure out where that 15 grand is coming from.

Brian came into our room and silently pulled the chain on the fan light and it came on all while giving me a look that clearly meant that I needed to get more sleep.  I was okay again.

Sleep Deprivation

It is safe to say that since our newest family member's arrival, we have all been a little sleep deprived; me for all the usual and obvious reasons and Brian for the same. What I did not expect though, was how tired our other boys would be...

Yes, someone did not even make it up the stairs to his room in order to take his nap.  My favorite part of this though was how Luke's little feet were still braced to keep him from slipping down.  Oddly enough, we moved Luke into Ethan's room so they would, in theory, sleep more since neither of them would be sleeping in the same room as a newborn who cries every three hours on cue to be fed.  We discovered how much Luke likes to talk to his older brother, particularly at night.  I'm not sure now which room is quieter: the nursery or Luke's room, but I think Ethan would probably say the nursery.

I've done a bunch of stupid stuff while walking around as a zombie these past several weeks.  The most notable of which is when I almost made Jackson a bottle with the can of Slimfast powder instead of his formula.  Luckily, I realized I had grabbed the wrong can before I made it (something to do with the chocolate brown powder instead of the white) and avoided putting my newborn on a diet.  I did decide, though, that I probably need to not keep those two cans in the same place in the pantry.

The silver lining of all the sleep deprivation running rampant in our house though are all the adorable photo opportunities that keep appearing.  One of my favorites:

Hello, Baby!



I've emerged from the sleep deprivation fog just long enough to organize my thoughts enough to be able to write a coherent post (or at least marginally coherent- you be the judge)!

Our precious baby boy, Jackson, was born five weeks ago today!  He looks like both me and my husband which is incredibly exciting to me since our first, Ethan, is a copy of my husband while Luke, albeit blond, is much more like me especially in regards to personality.  Jackson, however, is my little 50-50 bar and looks like both of his brothers and so maybe people won't be so confused when they see pictures of the boys together.  Apparently though, this seems to run in the family since my sister and I look nothing alike: I am pale and brunette while she is tan and blond.  While this bothered us while we were younger, we have come to find peoples' confused looks really entertaining.  We'll see what the future holds in regards to similarities and differences for my three boys...

Ethan and Luke have done a wonderful job as big brothers and my biggest problem is to keep them from smothering him with hugs and kisses and to protect him from all the lightsabers they keep trying to "show" him.  Luke, very humorously, was very upset when I didn't let him change the baby's diaper.  Is it too much to hope for that he still wants to do this in a couple months when the baby is big enough for me to be comfortable with it?

Most of all, I am incredibly thankful that our little Jackson is healthy and very happy after such a difficult pregnancy.  He managed to wait to make his debut at 38 weeks which meant he was officially full-term and not premature.  And though he was early, he was still 7 pounds and 6 ounces and 21 inches long so after a 21 hour labor, I was really thankful he didn't wait until he was any bigger! A few hours after he was born, he started smiling and is an incredibly happy baby hence my nickname for him, Happy.  And unfortunately, "Happy" is now crying so I probably need to go rescue him from his hunger pangs or whatever crisis is now imminent in his baby world!