Why My Kids Eat Salad

My six year old Ethan loves salad and has been known to beg me to make it for dinner.  There is a spring green salad with feta and a vinaigrette dressing that is his favorite that we pick up when we go to BJ's and the few times that they didn't have it, he was seriously disappointed.  Sometimes Ethan and I will split a salad when we go out and my husband and I notice the servers' surprised and disbelieving looks when we order it.  I get the feeling that they think we are being really optimistic about what he will eat.  After watching Ethan polish of the last bites of lettuce, one server said that was amazing and asked how we get our boys to eat like this.  In fact, I get asked that fairly frequently quite understandably since having picky kids is really tricky...

My kids didn't always eat like this.  Mac 'n cheese, chicken nuggets, PB&J's, buttered noodles and string cheese were typical kid fare when I was making "real" food for Brian and myself.  This lasted for awhile until Matthew started demanding these foods all the time and started turning down stuff that he would have liked or that he had previously liked.  At mealtimes, he started trying to put in his "order". 

I know that most of us resurrect some phrases that our parents used with us when we were growing up and I have to publicly tell my mom thanks for "I am not a restaurant!".  I grew up as the oldest of four kids all two years apart; my mom definitely had her hands full and wisely taught us to eat what was offered.  Her phrase became my go-to saying since when our second son, Luke, came along, I decided that I did not want to make multiple meals nor did I want to eat kid food on a regular basis.  This was the part that became interesting since when I quite making separate meals and started giving him healthy home-cooked meals, he decided to do what any other self-respecting two year old would do: stage a hunger strike.

After a couple days of struggling with it and begging him to eat only to have him wait until the next meal when he could get something he wanted and hence making no real progress, I realized that I would have to be a little more creative (I am so incredibly thankful for my behavioral/ clinical psychology degree now!). The next dinner, Ethan didn't touch his plate so I covered it with plastic wrap and stuck it in the fridge.  It came for breakfast the next morning and I asked him if he wanted it hot or cold.  He still didn't touch the food (it was barbecued chicken and veggies so I didn't feel like I was trying to make him eat something weird).  Any time that day he started whining that he was hungry, I offered him that food again and, as hard as it was, didn't give it and give him any other snacks.  Ethan finally ate it the following morning (score for me, since it wasn't going to be good another meal and I wasn't sure what to do since he would think that he could just outlast the food!).  Since then, he tries everything and is one of the naturally healthiest eaters that I have ever seen.  Luke tried to do the same thing later, but quickly realized that it always tastes the best the first time it appears at mealtimes and loves some of my favorite things as I wrote about here a while ago. 

They sometimes still try to put in their orders for different meals and complaining about what is for dinner so I revert back to "I'm not a restaurant!"  They giggle at my answer and that is the end of the conversation.  I still can't believe myself when they ask me to make eggplant or fish for dinner.  Hurray for peaceful family mealtimes!  Thanks again, Mom!

Surprise!

I have a terrible track record with gifts for my husband.  It isn't that he doesn't like them, it's just that he is rarely surprised by them.  He has an uncanny ability to stumble upon things that I have hidden around the house (it would probably be smarter if I wrapped them first before hiding them...) or my kids have been known to go pull the gifts out to show him what he is getting (probably shouldn't put them places that they know about...) or he sees an advertisement left out with my planned purchase on the front page (I need to be more discrete when shopping sales...). 

I thought I had turned a corner when I actually accomplished the near impossible this past Christmas when I managed to keep his leather jacket a secret until he ripped the paper off the package and I was hoping to build upon my success with Valentines Day. 

In order to be stealthy, I went shopping while Brian was at work so he wouldn't ask where I was going.  In order to do this, I had to take Luke and Baby Jack Jack.  Mistake #1. 

Brian has been crazy busy at work lately and so I thought it would be fun to get him some of his favorite products to help him de-stress; something just fun that I hoped would say "I was thinking of you and trying to take care of you".  Luke apparently shares my love of aromatherapy and wanted to help pick out some things for Daddy so I let him help me.  Mistake #2.

The store lady noticed us smelling everything and tried to upsale us on some of their new, insanely good smelling body sprays.  Their new way of giving samples of the body spray is to spritz a ribbon so you can smell multiple fragrances.  Of course, Luke wanted to smell one and wanted to keep the ribbon.  I've been trying demystify the feminine world a little bit since, with no sisters, girls could be a big source of confusion later in life for them and I'm trying to do my sons' future wives a favor.  I tied the ribbon around his wrist as a bracelet just like he wanted.  Mistake #3.

With one ribbon bracelet, he decided his other hand needed one too.  So, the lady and I let him have another.  Mistake #4.

Luke saw the hand sanitizer display and wanted some more for his backpack and begged for more "hanitizer" as he calls it.  I let him pick a bottle and of course he picked the one with the picture of the soccer ball and football on the front.  As we left the store, I explained that this is all a huge surprise for Daddy and that we needed to keep it a secret and not say anything about it to him and so he couldn't show or tell Daddy anything about even the hand sanitizer because he would figure it out.  We got home, I made Luke hide his sanitizer and I hid Brian's present.  However, I failed to confiscate one of the ribbons.  Mistake #5.

I also assumed that my four year old could keep a secret.  Mistake #6.

The moment Brian walked in the door from work that night, Luke ran up to him, showed him the remaining un-confiscated ribbon and proceeded to tell him all about our trip to "Body Lotion" and how he got the ribbon and how we smelled lots of things trying to pick out something for him.

I was surprised.  To his credit though, Luke never mentioned his hand sanitizer.

So, I will try again for Brian's birthday in a couple weeks.

On True Character



 



My fibromyalgia has unfortunately taken a turn for the worse over the past few weeks for some unknown reason and amongst other things, has settled in my hands.  For the first time in the course of this disease, I have felt stripped bare, reduced to simply who I am and not at all defined by anything that I do since, with the loss of use of my hands, my ability to do anything has been greatly compromised.  I can no longer play my guitar, turn the pages in a book and typing is now incredibly difficult with this post an incredibly long time in the making.  I have struggled with this deeply since I love doing these things and have had many conversations with God over if not these things, then what does he want me to be doing?

Ironically, it is this being stripped bare of all pretense that has made me see more how what I do has absolutely no bearing on who I actually am.  Rather, it is my character that determines what I do and it is my character that He is most concerned with.  The verse in 1 Samuel 16:7 when Samuel was sent to find the next appointed king of Israel says, "But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.' ” (ESV translation)  I think it is really easy to find our self worth in these outward things but our lives innately are valuable and we can't do anything to make us more so.  In this humble position, we find peace and hope and ultimately, grace. 

It is tempting to dwell on what I used to be or more accurately, what I used to do instead of who I am and what I need to be.  Believe me, it has not been easy but I've realized, who I am impacts and influences my kids, family, friends and everyone I come into contact profoundly more than what I do.  My actions, as much as I can do, flow from who I am and ultimately, who God is as I try to follow Him.

My fibro has definitely taught me so much as I've wrestled with it.  Despite it and probably even because of it, I feel the grace of God in my life as I learn these lessons.  Hopefully though, there will be an easier way to learn these in the future that lets me use my hands more!

On Contentment



Thursday was Ethan's first day of first grade.  It seems like yesterday that I was blogging about him starting school and now he is a confident little first grader.  I think this has made such a profound impact on me since we are still going through the newborn phase with Jackson and it is hard to believe that he is already six weeks old; it has gone way too fast.  At the same time, I find myself wishing that we could get to sleep through the night!

It is ironic how we tend to wish for the next big thing; I spent the last month of pregnancy just wishing that our baby would make his debut and the past few weeks wishing I could sleep.  Before I know it, he'll be off to school like Ethan.  It really makes it difficult to really enjoy the phase we are in since it is easier to focus on the struggles of today; it is the immediacy of the urgent needs that keeps us from seeing the bigger picture. 

This has been a huge lesson that God has been working with me on lately: contentment.  Though not always in regards to material things, I think it is something that we all struggle with.  It is easy to long for the goals we have and forget about today and live the grace that He has given us.  Long term goals are incredibly important but can replace God as an object of our worship if obtaining them takes over our focus.  How many missed opportunities will we have if we only see our five year plans?  Or what teachable moments will we miss with our kids if we are just trying to get everything done in order to make it to the weekend?

I know it is a tall order to be content in a sleep-deprived and busy state, but it is what He asks of us so we can see Him.  This is my goal for the school year.  Why don't you join me in it?

When it Rains...

I had a near-breakdown last week when the ceiling fan light in my bedroom wouldn't turn on. Turns out the fan wasn't actually broken, just switched off with the pull chain so the wall switch didn't work.

In my defense though, this fan episode was a whole ten minutes after I shaved Luke's head immediately after discovering he had lice for the second time this summer. It was 30 minutes after trying to bake cookies with my sister and discovering my oven was broken, and a couple hours after discussing with Brian about having to replace our ailing air conditioner and hoping we could make it through the summer. Just that morning, I was talking with some family members about how we really need to replace the rotting siding on our house as soon as we can figure out where that 15 grand is coming from.

Brian came into our room and silently pulled the chain on the fan light and it came on all while giving me a look that clearly meant that I needed to get more sleep.  I was okay again.

Sleep Deprivation

It is safe to say that since our newest family member's arrival, we have all been a little sleep deprived; me for all the usual and obvious reasons and Brian for the same. What I did not expect though, was how tired our other boys would be...

Yes, someone did not even make it up the stairs to his room in order to take his nap.  My favorite part of this though was how Luke's little feet were still braced to keep him from slipping down.  Oddly enough, we moved Luke into Ethan's room so they would, in theory, sleep more since neither of them would be sleeping in the same room as a newborn who cries every three hours on cue to be fed.  We discovered how much Luke likes to talk to his older brother, particularly at night.  I'm not sure now which room is quieter: the nursery or Luke's room, but I think Ethan would probably say the nursery.

I've done a bunch of stupid stuff while walking around as a zombie these past several weeks.  The most notable of which is when I almost made Jackson a bottle with the can of Slimfast powder instead of his formula.  Luckily, I realized I had grabbed the wrong can before I made it (something to do with the chocolate brown powder instead of the white) and avoided putting my newborn on a diet.  I did decide, though, that I probably need to not keep those two cans in the same place in the pantry.

The silver lining of all the sleep deprivation running rampant in our house though are all the adorable photo opportunities that keep appearing.  One of my favorites:

Hello, Baby!



I've emerged from the sleep deprivation fog just long enough to organize my thoughts enough to be able to write a coherent post (or at least marginally coherent- you be the judge)!

Our precious baby boy, Jackson, was born five weeks ago today!  He looks like both me and my husband which is incredibly exciting to me since our first, Ethan, is a copy of my husband while Luke, albeit blond, is much more like me especially in regards to personality.  Jackson, however, is my little 50-50 bar and looks like both of his brothers and so maybe people won't be so confused when they see pictures of the boys together.  Apparently though, this seems to run in the family since my sister and I look nothing alike: I am pale and brunette while she is tan and blond.  While this bothered us while we were younger, we have come to find peoples' confused looks really entertaining.  We'll see what the future holds in regards to similarities and differences for my three boys...

Ethan and Luke have done a wonderful job as big brothers and my biggest problem is to keep them from smothering him with hugs and kisses and to protect him from all the lightsabers they keep trying to "show" him.  Luke, very humorously, was very upset when I didn't let him change the baby's diaper.  Is it too much to hope for that he still wants to do this in a couple months when the baby is big enough for me to be comfortable with it?

Most of all, I am incredibly thankful that our little Jackson is healthy and very happy after such a difficult pregnancy.  He managed to wait to make his debut at 38 weeks which meant he was officially full-term and not premature.  And though he was early, he was still 7 pounds and 6 ounces and 21 inches long so after a 21 hour labor, I was really thankful he didn't wait until he was any bigger! A few hours after he was born, he started smiling and is an incredibly happy baby hence my nickname for him, Happy.  And unfortunately, "Happy" is now crying so I probably need to go rescue him from his hunger pangs or whatever crisis is now imminent in his baby world!